Lovehoney’s Sqweel 2

The Squeel 2 is a weird looking toy, there’s no getting around this, so I thought I’d get it out of the way at the start of this review. This is what you would get if an arcade game character, a water wheel, and a futuristic sex toy had a pink and white (or pink and black) baby. If you like your sex toys to be unique and look as though they’d be Tank Girl’s first choice for jacking off, this is definitely for you.

While I haven’t tried the original Sqweel, the Sqweel 2 packaging boasts that it has more power than the original, has 10 ‘tongues’ made of silicone rather than a porous material, and has ‘exciting flicker mode’. I’m glad that I’m review this and not the original, as a Sqweel with less power than this would make me a very sad and probably orgasm-less Pixel.

The sound of the Sqweel is a bit whiny. It’s also fairly loud, to the point that I’d want the bedroom door closed as well as music playing to cover the sound of it if I had to worry about housemates. When I’m just using it by myself, I grab my sound cancelling headphones and use either porn or music to drown out the whine. This may be because of the
There are variable speeds, 3 of them, and you are able to change the direction the Sqweel spins as well as activate a ‘flicker mode’. (Am I the only one who feels like this is sounds like a glitchy version of ‘stealth mode’? You’d be ninja-ing along, when all of a sudden, your camouflage flashes off, then on again?) I usually only use the third speed, and very rarely mess around with the flicker mode. There’s a pause in the flicking that just ends up annoying me, rather than getting me off. I also don’t ever change the direction of the tongues. It just feels weird and uncomfortable to me to have it rotating the opposite way.

The tongues are really pink. I don’t think my picture conveys just how violently, pepto pink they are. They’re silicone and have some seriously drag to them. It’s not as much drag as, say, kitty tongue, but you’re going to want to use a fair bit of lube with this to make your clit and labia not feel abused. I prefer to use a thicker lube with the Sqweel 2, and applied it to my clit and labia before I even turned on the toy. Sliquid Sassy worked well for me, but if you prefer a thinner lube, any water based one will do!

Cleaning is a bit of a pain in the butt. Lube and fluids get all over and in this thing, and having to do a thorough clean up after each use is a must. You have to break down the Sqweel to clean it, and wipe the case down really well because you’ll have spattered stuff all up in that. Luckily, opening the case is easy. You just slide the locking mechanism on the side, pop it apart, and pull out the rotating bit. You have to wipe the inside down, as it’s not sealed, and you don’t want to corrode the batteries by accident. (The batteries, by the way, are 3 AAAs.) The tongue part can be cleaned the normal way-10% bleach, soap and water, or boiling.

I’ve heard horror stories of the Sqweel ripping stray pubes out, and I can neither confirm or deny this, as I like to keep things waxed or well trimmed, and wasn’t willing to go for the disco bush look just to try to dispel that particular sex toy urban myth. I didn’t have any issues with the tongues grabbing at my outer labia piercings either-I have 4, and they have curved barbells in them, for frame of reference.

This doesn’t feel like oral sex to me, but then, I don’t feel like anything can actually compare to having your partner going down on you. Sex toys ARE NOT replacements for humans. Seriously. They’re not your ‘battery operated boyfriend’ or ‘teehee, going to replace hubby’, they’re toys. (Sorry, pet peeve!) That being said, it does feel really good. I was honestly a bit shocked that I was able to orgasm from using the Sqweel, as I’m not normally able to orgasm from oral sex. I need either penetration or vibration to get off.

When I use a vibrator, I tend to press it against my clit, and the pressure seems to help get me off faster. With the Sqweel, I can’t do that. If I press it against me too hard, it makes the engine whine and slow down, which is the exact opposite of what I want it to do. However, the sensations from the tongues against my clit were fast/strong enough to.

I offered to try this out on my boyfriend’s cock, but he took one took at the tongues spinning and started laughing hysterically, so you’ll have to go elsewhere to find a male perspective on the Sqweel, sorry.

Overall, this is a cool toy to add to your collection. Sure, it’s not going to work for everyone, but not all toys do. If you’re looking for something that’s sorta similar to oral sex, you can try this out, but I maintain that it’s not the same. It does, however, feel fucking awesome in it’s own way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *